blackbirdblog

Ha ha...it takes more than a little honesty and openness to scare me away. What you said there was really interesting--about offering details about your life to make new friends over and over again. I recognize that's how it's done, but I have somehow never been good at sharing those details and I think that's part of the reason my friendships come and go. I am just not that open. But anyway....

I haven't heard anything about TCS or JLD lately, but I should ask my mom. She's a huge gossip and bound to know something. Several years ago I saw JLD's dad some place and I think he said JLD was working as an electrician at AGH here in the city, but he didn't live in the city. I really don't remember, but I'll ask my mom. I don't go home to C much, and I don't know why my parents still live there. They are both retired now. I think they are waiting for either me or my brother to settle down and have kids. ARH is a lot closer to it than me. He lives in S C with his wife and they are planning to buy a house there soon.

It's great that you have a good relationship with your mom, though it does surprise me a little because I don't remember you two being especially close. However, maybe that was just typical parent/teenager relationship strain that I recall. I honestly don't know how I turned out to be such a different person than my parents. My mother and I have nothing in common and I just don't like her very much as a person, so I think it is awesome that you have such respect and admiration for yours. I am envious. I talked to your mom quite a bit at that 4th of July party, but I don't really remember what we talked about. Such a bad memory!!

Quaker services have always intrigued me. In Boston, the meetinghouse was directly across from the LDS chapel, so I walked by it every Sunday after parking and I was always curious. The sense of community that you described really appeals to me, but I suppose it would only work if I opened myself up to it. Regarding St. P's, I think your experience there was probably somewhat different than mine in that I never talked to anybody about anything. Yeah, it would seem that talking to your youth leader about something bothering you was the natural thing to do, but I never had any conversations like that. I remember distinctly when I stopped believing--it was October when I was 15. I looked around at all those people I had known my whole life and I just knew in my heart that what they believed and their way of life was not the absolute truth. But I never told a soul.

I am also glad to hear you love your job as a 4th grade teacher. Life leads us on crazy paths, huh? Yes, I became an undertaker. People ask me why, and I never really know what to say. Guess it was just a calling. It's not working out so great, though. Tough to find a job unless you have family in the business, and I'd like to start my own place but it's risky and overwhelming. I don't want to start a business, I just want to help people get through the worst day of their life. When I went to mortuary school, and even when I graduated, I was interested in embalming and human anatomy still intrigues me, but I never really had the opportunity to learn embalming for various reasons. And then I got involved with a non-profit group called GBP and now I don't really care to learn embalming. It is a very invasive process and the chemicals are known carcinogens that burn my nose and throat and I really don't want to be around them. I am interested in doing green funerals and home funerals--the way it was done for thousands of years prior to the advent of embalming. I am involved with the group that opened PA's first green cemetery and I was able to assist with a home funeral for the first burial at the cemetery. But I have been struggling for years to make ends meet as a funeral director. Since November I have been interviewing with FI and they have offered me a job contingent upon getting my insurance license. I am halfway through the licensing process. A career in sales is something I never considered, and insurance is about the most boring thing in the world, but the stability is appealing to me, as well as a steady income, so I think I am going to do it. I feel like a total sell-out, but it will be beneficial in some ways. I will have the opportunity to meet more people and be more outgoing and more involved in the community, which is something I always liked about funeral service. Training starts in March.

I thought of those Penelope letters right away when we got back in touch, because I think that was happening right before our split. I honestly felt kind of ashamed about writing them. But I always took everything way too seriously. On hearing your take, I guess I can chalk it up to youthful games and whimsy.

Happy New Year! I am off to gym with plenty of food for thought while I run on the treadmill.......

KLH